Let's just start by saying I'm crazy. It shows it what I say, how I write, what I do and so on. Let's also just say, I hope you have ADD because when I write/speak/think, my brain jumps from place to place and back again. (I also have this horrible habit of not editing or reading what I wrote!) That is me! I am a momma of two wonderfully energetic stubborn happy children. (wife, daughter, friend, etc. but I am mostly a woman of God.) Now (see how I just can't keep on on thought?!?!), that you have met me, - wait we didn't meet. I am Kathy . There done. you now know me. Good night. .
What were you expecting more?!?!
I'm thinking you might want to stop reading now... the rest is probably just going to be a spewing words
oh okay. So when I think of who I am, I like to say that I thrive on craziness. The more I have to do, the more I get done and the better I feel For the past few years, I've fallen into a funk. I am in a me centered, lazy state; wherein I should get what I want beacause I deserve it - WHAT?!?!? what happened to that old me who liked to give back and not be lazy? I'm not sure, but the me I have become or should I say am becoming is someone I can love.) I"m not sure I always love myself; certainly not my body. But darn it (trying to keep it kid friendly - most likely the only time I will remember b/c I tend to have mouth like sailor (well I've reformed a bit)) (side note - I open lots of parenthasis but don't always close them- just an fyi)) - let's throw in a few more to make sure I've closed them all. )))))))))))))))))))) I"m going to learn (see how I cam back to it and finally finished that thought - I'm so sorry!)
I have realized, decided, and committed myself (no not committed myself - haha) to being a better mom, wife, friend and person. I know not very specific, however.... I've always heard that once you believe you are going to loose weight you will do it- attitude is half the battle. Bull shit. Well, that's what I used to think: bullshit, but in the last 3 weeks I realized it's not bullshit - I seriously feel like I have the Jesus rays coming off me. AHHHH moment! I've been afraid of being the real me. I won't be me if I loose weight. NOT TRUE! See I get off on these tangents. Back to my goal of being a better me; first and foremost me (No, this not all about me) - I will get to my point! I'm exercising and eating better. I want to be able to play with my kids. Run with them, not just sit on the sideline watching them. I want to jump up when they do and not feel like I have the help myself up. I want to teach them to be healthy eaters. All food is okay, you just need to control it! I already know that K has a ridiculous metabolism, but that doesn't mean he should he fast food and junk b/c one day it will go away and then where will he be?!?! We should take care of this beautiful body God has given us- he made me just this way (sometimes I'm not sure why, but hey - God has a plan).
Next (and the biggest focus)a better mom - I am creating an safe environment of love, learning, exploring and fun for K & S (my kiddos) (at least that's what I want to work towards). I always wanted to be a stay at home mom, but it's hard work and I want to give my best. Just like any job where there are performance reviews, bonus and goals, I too have them.... are my kids thoughtful, generous and kind? (performance- check), bonus - hugs and kisses. Goal- me not killing them or me. So, I want to stay focused (don't laugh too loud). I know that my house will always be messy, but I feel so much better and get more done when its straightened (like now, I can write bc the toys are put away - granted its midnight)), however if I focus and get the cleaning done (and not just sit and watch tv or play on the computer) I will have more time to play/laugh/explore with my kids.
To channel that focus while laughing, learning and exploring, we came up with the tot school. I don't just want to do random activites (although random is good), I want semi structured random.
There is so much more to say, but I'm pretty sure you didn't have time to read this ridiculously long post about mostly nothing. So, go get something done, say a prayer or get some sleep.
Think good thoughts. Kiss those Kids. Smile louder. Love the Lord.
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